Updated: Mar 29
As I was in prayer, the old church hymn, "He's an on-time God," popped into my head. I've always questioned the song, and I stopped singing it years ago because it would burn me up on the inside. I may just be the only one. But really think about it ?!?
It's not that the whole song is terrible, and I understand what is implied. What bothers me is the contradiction suggesting God is not always with us; He forgot details about our lives, or He is unaware of what we are going through, and He just so happened to decide to show up in the nick of time to save us. God is not a superhero that we summon to rescue us.
What kind of on-the-fence relationship with God is that? I don't want it over here!
Contradiction aside, the song also made me think about some questions I began asking the Lord, why He had me move to Arkansas. Don't get me wrong, by the end of December 2021; I was thoroughly moved into the state. But I was trying in my understanding to connect the dots of what the Lord had begun to show me and why He directed me to Arkansas. That's why we don't lean on our understanding. "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" Proverbs 20:24
After I received my truth, I began to spend more time with God. I noticed my conversations became more intense for me, and I was not afraid to ask questions. Although I've learned there is a time and place along our journey where God will reveal details. So be careful of the questions you ask. More importantly, be ready for the answers you receive.
Let's pause here for a minute.
If you have not read my previous blog (Obey Truth), I encourage you to take some time now to read it. It'll catch you up with what I explain next.
Sometimes, when I ask God questions, He will bring certain things back to my memory. I'm thankful for this because I never want to forget how much He loves me and the grace He has shown me. So, as I asked my questions of why here? Why now? I reflected on May 2021; I felt led to travel just a tad. I began to write down the places I believed I was supposed to go. Initially, I invited friends for the first trip, but I went alone. That was the first time I had traveled out of the country by myself. And Yes, my mama hit the ceiling, the floor, and every wall in her house when she learned her baby girl (31 at that time) was going to Mexico by herself.
It wasn't a big deal to me. It was just Mexico! But having a daughter myself, I can imagine her concern for my safety. Although she was filled with all motherly concerns, I felt at peace. I had managed to get a great deal on an all-inclusive resort and a cheap flight. Now, I was really living my best life and being pleasing to God.
Lol, God flew me out! God flew out! Aya!!
I journaled, worshipped, and prayed on a beautiful sandy beach in Mexico. Who says you can't date Jesus? And when you date Him, you receive the best of the best. I sure did. He taught me what real love is. And babyyyyy, I was starting to glow.
After Mexico, the next stop was a church on a hill in South Carolina. This time my mama was determined to go with me. So, my solo trip became a family trip for myself, my daughter, and my mama. I was glad my mama came because I wanted her to meet this version of me. I wanted her to know her prayers and obedience to God were not in vain.
But just before I set out for my next trip. A pipe burst into my kitchen wall. The water destroyed all the flooring in my home and some of the walls. As I watched the water fill my home just days before the trip, my first thought was, well, I must cancel the trip. But then I heard the Holy Spirit say," what's done is done, Go." Without hesitation, I shut the main water line off, got up as much water as possible, called my insurance company, and packed our bags.
Yes! You're probably thinking; this chick is crazy! Who leaves their house like that? Lol, (hand raised high)That would be me! When you go after God, things that are irrational to the human mind make perfect sense to Him. And if I'm wrong, His grace is sufficient. LOL
Because the church is in South Carolina, the quickest way to get there was to go through Atlanta, Ga, and drive 3 hours to the church. I had planned our trip to the T.
June 27, 2021: Land at 2 pm in Atlanta, Ga
3 pm -Pick up the rental
4 pm -5 pm: Check in to our hotel
7 pm: Head to dinner and relax
June 28, 2021
3 am: Drive to the church in SC. Get there around 6 /6:30 am
9/10 am: drive back to Atlanta, Ga and grab lunch
2 pm- 5 pm: Go to the aquarium
6 pm-7 pm: Dinner and relax
3pm: Take the rental back
4pm: Board our flight
As much as I planned, that is not how it happened.
We landed in Atlanta, and my mama noticed her luggage was open and missing things. So, we stopped to report it and tried to figure out what had happened to her belonging. This caused us to miss picking up our rental because the location closed early. I wasn't too concerned because I had made a backup reservation at the airport (I wasn't playing any games). But, somehow, we flew into Atlanta on the weekend everybody and their mama decided to come too. I was getting irritated quickly. Although we had reservations, all the car rental agencies did not have one car available.
Atlanta, you got to do better! Just saying!
After hours of waiting, we finally got a car and headed to dinner. When we returned to our hotel, I checked the church schedule to make sure it was open to the public for the next day. I checked the website, and sure enough, the schedule had changed. I honestly felt defeated and wanted to cry. I came all that way and couldn't do what I came there for. My mama saw the disappointment on my face as I told her we couldn't go. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I knew how. I went into the bathroom to pray, and before I could get comfortable on the floor, the Holy Spirit said, "check it again."
As I returned to the page, I thought, but I just checked it. Being obedient, I saw the church was open on Sunday at 6 am instead of 6 am on Saturday. So, after I saw the schedule change, we also changed our plans. We had a fun family day Saturday, and Sunday morning, we hit the road for South Carolina.
Around 5:30 am, we began driving up the winding road to the church. My mama clutched her seatbelt and the car door for dear life with every turn I made.
Ma: Slow down, baby; it's fog out here.
Me: Ma, I got this!
Ma: What's the speed limit?
Me: It's 25. (I eased off the gas because I was scaring her)
As we got out of the car, I began to prepare myself. I felt a flood of emotions overtaking me. We walked into the chapel and sat on one of the benches, surrounded by others who had come for their reasons.
Some were praying and taking pictures, and a couple got engaged. It was quite beautiful as the flog filled the front of the chapel. I sat quietly with tears rolling down my face. God was revealing, and I was listening. Others had traveled for the view. I traveled and discovered so much more. The trip was never about the church/building. Although it was nice, this was the beginning of my preparation for my next chapter. Because we had to face one challenge after the next to get to the church, I felt like I was being tested. I was being tested to see if I would obey instructions even if they didn't make sense to me. And I was being tested to see how far I was willing to go and what I was willing and ready to endure, to believe and follow Jesus. Was I willing to let go of my plans and control and be led? During this experience, God first shared with me to prepare my home, and I would move soon.
During the trips, God had already made ways for me to get where I needed to be at every turn. He just needed me to take my hands off the wheel, listen, and move when He said go. During the trips, I never really asked why; I just moved with him.
Because I was obedient getting to the hill, being obedient to move to another state didn't seem far-fetched.
And then I remembered Exodus 13:17-18
If you turn with me in your Bibles, I will read from the new living translation. And it read,
"When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promise Land. God said, "If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." So, God led them a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea. Thus, the Israelites left Egypt like an army ready for battle."
And just like that, pairing my experience with the word, I had a part of my answer.
Although God had begun to reveal pieces of my purpose, I was not ready to walk into it. I need to go to Conway for preparation because if I had walked into my purpose, at the first sign of disappointment, unapproved, overthinking, etc., I indeed would have given up. I needed to get more equipped first. I needed deliverance, inner healing, training, and character building. I'll be the first to raise my hand to say Im flawed. I don't know everything, and I don't pretend I do. Through my vulnerability and continued surrender, I will allow God to be my strength where I'm weak. I needed to go the roundabout way to prepare for my battle and now have an army, a faithful support system backing me up.
I've learned to move with God without needing a why because He is all the way I need. So, if my movements seem a little crazy, pray for me and know, I'm going with God.
Now, don't be out here keeping up a mess and talking about God said it. You aint gotta lie!. He is intentional and gives instructions. God gives clarity, not confusion, when He gives those instructions to do something.
We must reach a point where we move with God without needing every detail of what is to come or asking why right away. Realize there is a purpose for what you are facing, and He has already worked everything out. Let God be God and ensure He can use you as His available vessels.
I pray this be your encouragement to know God is always in the midst of time, on time, and ahead of time. And if you're in a place where you feel as if you know what you're called to do but feel delayed or the promises of God have yet to be fulfilled in your life, do not panic. Do not lose hope. You may have just been rerouted for your protection or preparation. So, thank God for the roundabouts. I know I am!
Until Next time
Daughters of Ruth